Happy July....!!

Hello and Happy July to everyone!  Not sure where you are, but here...it is very very hot outside!  Whew!  My mom (QueenBee) always says she is solar powered- hee hee hee!- but even she is saying it is hot, so you know it is really, really hot here!!!  And our hottest months aren't even here yet!!

Yes, there has been a blank spot in my postings.  We've been riding the rapids here since I last wrote.  I had to put my precious RoseFlower in the hospital last night.  I know that she is where she needs to be...that our Precious Saviour is in control of everything, and taking care of His baby....

She has been regressing for about 5 months now.  Some small things at first, then some bigger backwards steps.  There was a huge event night before last where she actually said that she wanted to go to hospital.  I trust her doctor completely...with her life, as he literally saved her life about 4 years ago.  He agreed that she needed to go to hospital.

Not sure if her meds need tweaking, or if she just needs some intensive therapy, I know that she will get either or both...whatever she needs.  Would you please pray for her??  During visiting time today, she was crying so hard...begging me to take her home.  She was very scared because now she is in the teen unit (previously-she was in the children's unit, that was 4 years ago).  She was so scared because the other patients were talking about how they had overdosed, how many drugs they had taken....they were cursing alot...  my RoseFlower is getting a look at the real world and it's harshness. 

She is such a tender, loving, giving soul.  She always has been.  Even though she is 15, because of her traumas, emotionally she is much younger.  And because of the recent regressions... she seems very young emotionally at times--still loving teddy bears, little animal toys, make believe stories...  So this culture shock for her is very difficult.

And she is having visual and audio hallucinations.  They are very scary to her.  She knows that they are not real...but it doesn't make it any easier to hear the words, hear the demons and what they tell her to do....and to see the scary demon-like images that are surrounding her.

Thank you so very much for your prayers.  I know that our God is a loving God...I know that nothing happens without Him knowing about it...and I know that all works together for good for those that love Him.  And she definitely loves her Jesus.  She could only bring in one book and a journal.  She packed a whole bag full, but without hesitation, picked her Bible and very willingly left the rest.

Ok...on to other things....we have been creating loads of artwork lately!  It is so wonderful for the soul!  RoseFlower was going to show me how to take pics on the digital cam and then how to post them on the blog.  I may just try and figure another way to post our work.  We have been having alot of fun.  The colors are just gorgeous!!! 

God is so amazing to give us all of these beautiful things (trees, clouds, flowers, different textures, paints, sparkles....it is endless!!)...and give us minds to create and imagine and play with!  God is just such a loving and amazing God!  I cannot fathom His love for us....every time I try, I am just speechless...  He sings over us at night if we ask Him to, He keeps us safe from our enemies, He answers our prayers---that are so much better many times that what we ask for!!!, He holds us and comforts us if we become scared or cry, He forgives us when we mess up...no matter how bad we mess up-He is waiting for us with open arms to love on us and forgive us.  I could just go on and on!!  Just Praise His Holy Name!!

The past few months, I didn't have any words to write here.  I couldn't get them to form coherently, or I was too exhausted and would just fall into bed...talking to my Lord until I fell asleep.  At times, I only had a very short period of time to get on my computer.  I would go to flickr.com .  Anything you can imagine...so many beautiful images are on http://www.flickr.com/ .  If you are having a rough go of it...  it is wonderful just to go and enter one of your favorite things to search...and it is amazing how many gorgeous pictures you will find of your favorite thing!  It is free to open an accout, just takes about a minute, then you can click to make pics your favorites, so you can go back and enjoy them later.  Just a really cool place to go and hang out...when you are too stressed to read words, or think, or type words.  Somehow the beauty of the colors breaks through that stress...and you can relax, and then hopefully sleep better.

Please know that I am praying for everyone that reads anypart of this.  And if you have a specific prayer request, please email me at the address to whichever side it is...maybe the right side??

May God be with you and your families and bless you abundantly!  If you celebrate the Fourth of July (in America), I hope you have a wonderful and fun 4th!!

Much love.....MamaRose

Do You Ever....

Do you ever feel this way???  I found this poem that I had written last year.  I was wondering where it was just a couple of days ago.  Funny, isn't it, how things appear or reappear just as you need them??  So I'm going to share it with you.  It doesn't really have a title.  It just sort of bubbled out of me one day while waiting in the pediatrician's waiting room with RoseFlower.  I couldn't stop writing until it was finished!  Ha ha!  Good thing our pedi was running a bit behind that day, huh?

Nerves are raw - jangling, clangling -

So tired of disobedience, defiance, delays-
Lord help me control my temper, my tone, give me peace -
I just want to run to
Your quiet peaceful arms to rest and to play.

My head aches, my heart races, my chest hurts - I just want to cry.
The plans I make disappear like wisps of smoke in the sky.

Over and over again -
Will there ever be an end?
Is it possible to actually accomplish plans made?
Or will I always be forced just to be tied and simply watch my days fade?

Feeling time slipping away, life passing me by -
Again, I just want to lay down and cry.

I'm tired of being stuck at the station -
I want to get on that fast racing train!
Where does it lead? Am I really too scared?
Do I think it will lead to only more pain?

Future is uncertainty -
but with God there is calm.
Clinging to Him is like
covering yourself with a balm.

Are circumstances holding me back -
or am I really to blame?
Trying to figure it all our fills me with
such shame.

Ashamed underneath because inside
I really know
That I am the only one who can dig myself
out of the snow.

Oh yes - God will help!
I know that is true -
So why oh why am I still feeling so blue?


Is the task too big?
No, not with the help of my Lord.

I just need to blindly have faith -
Take the first step then more.
After that first ..another step, step, step, step.
Keep on ...keep on... even if I get sore.

I've been told I'm very patient - yes this is true.
And on persistence, yeah - I have much more than a clue.

The fire in my belly is still hot for the chase.
But what am I to run for?
What is my fate?

Do I want to marry?
At times, I don't really know.
But is that just because I can't see past
the very short tip of my nose???


What is my goal?
What is my role?
Right now, I just want to go underground like a mole!


A mom, a daughter, a daughter of God -
yes these are roles,
But is that all for my life?
Who is the real me?
And why does this question bring me such strife?


Please don't think me ungratejul,
Please don't think me untrue,
I'm sure what's talking right now
is my varying shades of blue.


Where does one go to find these things out?
There must be a place -
I can't walk around all my life sporting
a pout on my face!

Again my chest hurts -
constricting, sqeezing and tight
It makes me want to stand up and fight!


But fight against what?
For what do I fight?
My place in this world!
Out from under this blight!


I'm not just a mother!
I'm not just a daughter!
I'm the child of a KING - the HOLIEST of all fathers!
He has plans for me, I know He does
For I am not just a stick in the mud!!!

So you ask what I'll do? Who I'll become?
I will sit patiently on my Father's lap
Listening to His wise, loving voice from above.


I will wait on His timing -
I will live for His cause.
And while I'm here waiting,
I'll keep working without pause.


Being the mother, the daughter
He wants me to be.
Living my life to serve Him only -
and always listening for His plea.


Okay, so maybe it didn't ring true for you...or maybe it did???  I'm sure I'm not the only one in the whole wide world that feels like this...am I????

So I did finish with 99% of the paperwork.  Still have to fill in a few details online tomorrow am before my appointment.  Please pray, that if it is His Will, that RoseFlower will be approved quickly for disability.  And that I could find some way to have an income since I am no longer able to work.  Thank you so much for your prayers.

I will share that recipe I made last night with you, I haven't forgotten.  I'm just toast now!  Please know that I am praying for you, even though I don't know you!!  Because God does, and He knows just exactly what you need in your life!

Hugs........MamaRose--that's a good way to sign, huh??

Eyes Blurred..Leaning on Jesus

Filling out SS Disability paperwork online for my Precious Daughter, RoseFlower.  So brain numbing to spend so much time in front of the computer.  Let me rephrase that--time in front of the computer filling out such deeply personal family history.  I'm trying really hard to write it as just a journalist would.  It's really not working very well.
Oh, please Father, help me to get through this.  If it is Your will, please let this be approved.  I know You have a wonderful plan for our lives...please forgive me in my fleshly physical and emotional exhaustion for.. my weaknesses.. it is not that I don't believe that You do have a plan for us, I know You do....it just seems to be going on for so long..the hardships, Father.  Getting close to 19 years, Father.  Please don't see me as ungrateful for the time of living You have given me....and all the wonderful beautiful blessings that You have poured over my head.  I'm ashamed to even feel discouraged.  Please forgive me, Saviour!  Give me strength... please help my precious RoseFlower in her most recent setback.  Heal her please as You see fit, Heavenly Physician.
Your Loving Daughter......

thank you, Lord.... as soon as I post this entry, I look to the left and see the verse of the day-here it is in case you are reading this at a later date-

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother's womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things.”
(Ecclesiastes 11:5)

God always sends us little emails just when we need them, doesn't He??  Whether they be a sweet little birdy, a flower you haven't seen before, a stranger's smile or kind word that somehow just seems to fit in perfectly,  or a Bible verse that hits you in your face on your very own blog!  hee hee hee!  I love you so much Lord Jesus!!!  You are my Hero!

Off to cook dinner and sing some praise music...will get back to paperwork later.  I'll share my recipe after paperwork is done.  Tonight we are having Cousin P's Spaghetti!  And believe you me....Cousin P..he, yes HE, is a wonderful chef!!!

Love and hugs......

Jesus in Every Book

Hello, I'm so excited about this. First I must say that this list is from http://www.ignitethefire.com/fuel.html , which is a fabulous website regarding homeschooling and teaching your child and "igniting that spark" in your child for her (or him) to love to learn, to want to learn more about everything in the world... for the love to come from within the child, not to beat the child over the head with books so to say...but for the child to crave learning about the world about her (or him), to be curious and fascinated with everything.


This portion that I am going to share with you is so exciting. It is talking about finding Jesus in every book of the Bible. Talking about making a Bible notebook... I must confess that just talking about making notebooks makes my heart beat faster... The Bible notebook that I am making right now is a combination of a couple of ideas I have read about.


First, I am working on having a divider with each book of the Bible listed on it. So whenever I am in church and hear something special in a sermon from a particular book in the Bible, I take notes in church, then come home and put the notes in that section. Or if I am just studying on my own, I can write the notes in that section.


Next, I have ABC dividers. Now when I am doing my daily Bible readings, whenever I come across a verse that talks about God, or Jesus, or the Holy Spirit...a particular characteristic or action ... say for instance in Psalm 107:13, "Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress." Okay...so from that we see that the Lord delivers, right?? So I would go to my D tabbie and then copy Psalm 107:13, write out that verse. (D for delivers)


Okay, now here is this really cool part. Jesus is mentioned in every book of the Bible. He was with God when they created Earth and man....the three and one...trilogy--Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Okay..... so here is a list (from the website mentioned above) that is so very wonderful--- it shows Jesus' relationship in every book of the Bible.




■Genesis---He is the Creator God
■Exodus---He is the Redemmer
■Leviticus---He is your sanctification
■Numbers---He is your guide
■Deuteronomy---He is your teacher
■Joshua---He is the Mighty Conqueror
■Judges---He gives victory over enemies
■Ruth---He is your kinsman, your lover, your redeemer
■1 Samuel---He is the root of Jesse
■2 Samuel---He is the Son of David
■1 Kings and 2 Kings---He is the King of Kings and Lord of Lords
■1st and 2nd Chronicles---He is your intercessor and High Priest
■Ezra---He is your temple, your house of worship
■Nehemiah---He is your mighty wall, protecting you from your enemies
■Esther---He stands in the gap to deliver you from your enemies
■Job---He is the arbitrator who not only understands your struggles, but has the power to do something about them.
■Psalms---He is your song and your reason to sing.
■Proverbs---He is your wisdome, helping you make sense of life and live it successfully.
■Ecclesiastes---He is your purpose, delivery you from vanity
■Song of Solomon---He is your lover, your Rose of Sharon
■Isaiah---He is the mighty counselor, the prince of peace, the everlasting father, and more. In short, he is everything you need.
■Jeremiah---He is your balm of Gilead, the soothing salve for your sin-sick soul.
■Lamentations---He is the ever-faithful one upon whom you can depend.
■Ezekiel---He is your wheel int he middle of a wheel, the one who assures that dry dead bones will come alive again.
■Daniel---He is the ancient of days, the everlasting God who never runs out of time
■Hosea---He is your faithful lover, always beckoning you to come back, even when you have abandoned Him
■Joel---He is your refuge, keeping you safe in times of trouble.
■Amos---He is the husbandman, the one you can depend on to stay by your side.
■Obadiah---He is Lord of the Kingdom
■Jonah---He is your salvation, bringing you back within His will.
■Micah---He is judge of the nation
■Nahum---He is the jealous God
■Habakkuk---He is the Holy One
■Zephaniah---He is the witness
■Haggai---He overthrows the enemies
■Zechariah---He is Lord of Hosts
■Malachi---He is Merciful

■Matthew--He is king of the Jews
■Mark---He is the servant
■Luke---He is the Son of Man, feeling what you feel
■John---He is the Son of God
■Acts---He is Saviour of world.
■Romans---He is the righteousness of God
■1 Corinthians---He is the rock that followed Israel
■II Corinthians---He is the triumphant one, giving victory
■Galatians---He is your liberty, he sets you free
■Ephesians---He is head of the Church
■Philippians---He is your joy
■Colossians---He is your completeness
■1 Thessalonians---He is your hope
■11 Thessalonians---He is your hope
■1 Timothy---He is your fatih
■11Timothy---He is your stability
■Titus---He is your instructor
■Philemon---He is your benefactor
■Hebrews---He is your perfection
■James---He is the power behind your faith
■1 Peter---He is your example
■11Peter---He is your purity
■1 John---He is your life
■11 John---He is your pattern
■111 John---He is your motivation
■Jude---He is the foundation of your faith.
■Revelation---He is your coming King. From the beginning of the world to its end, there is no place you can look and not see jesus. He is everywhere. He is everything. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together (Colossians 1:17)


Wanted to share this...had to share this. I did add in Titus, as this was not in the list, and I filled in 2 Thess as it was blank. Just so you know.


I have written these down in my Bible at the beginning of each book. Except I have personalized them a bit. Like for Leviticus, instead of, "He is your sanctification".. I have written, "He is my sanctification".




May God Bless you and keep you, may God make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you!

I'm praying for you!  Praying that you feel the Lord's peace surrounding you, upholding you and giving you strength.  It is so hard to get caught up in all of the earthly negativity that is around us everyday, isn't it??  Well for me it is sometimes.  I am too much of a sponge!  Ha ha...soaking up all the sadness around me, the earthquakes, people hurting financially, physically, emotionally, spiritually, people searching...not knowing that Jesus is the only one that can fill that empty place inside of them.  I have to stand back...pray.... take a deep breath...  remember who I belong to... what my role here is (to love on people and to share God's love).. and to remember that we are all just passing through here!  We are just aliens here on earth!!  (I'm trying to find that verse--I am thinking maybe in Peter 1 or 2, but my eyes are really tired and blurry right now--I will have to get back with you on that verse--the one about us just passing thru here on earth.)

Ok....I am sending love and prayers and hugs to you all....  Take care...